Yo Ga, Girl!

Weeknights are definitely the hardest for me when it comes to being single and living alone. I read a book recently where one of the characters compared and contrasted being lonely with being in solitude. Don't contrast and compare! I have to say there is a very real difference between those two feelings for me. Sometimes, all I really want is a good book and some peace and quiet. Usually I need that after I've met a new group of people or gone out of my comfort zone like this past weekend. But on weeknights nowadays, I find myself wishing that I had a friend to walk around the water or make dinner or sit and watch TV with. 

Chicken "snakes" and green rice.

So yesterday, after a little relaxing straight after work, I found myself wishing I could share a walk with someone around the promenade. It was such a lovely day, it seemed like a shame to stay inside. But stay inside is what I did because I realized (after my little pity party) that I couldn't just invent a friend to walk around with and I couldn't change the situation, so I'd better just move on and do something that I could enjoy by myself. In my world, that means yoga and (now) cooking. The pity party has come to an end. Thank you for joining me. Be sure to grab a favor on your way out!

Wino at heart.

Thankfully Yoga Steve has a few of his weekly practices online for free. (Side note: why do all Steves have a qualifier before their name? Scuba Steve. Yoga Steve. Random.) It's a little heartbreaking at first to realize that I'm not actually on the Pacific Beach cliffs listening to the waves crash on the beach, watching the pelicans glide through the air. Beach yoga was one of my favorite things to do when I lived in San Diego. But once I get passed the longing to be on the beach, I move onto pure enjoyment. I just the love Yoga Steve's style of yoga and I love that I can yell at him to move onto the next move without worrying that he'd actually hear me :)

So after yoga, I headed over to the kitchen to whip up some sauteed chicken strips (marinated in Filipino coconut vinegar) and green rice (from Gwyneth's recipes...we're on a first-name basis). This recipe is really going to force me to buy a proper chopping knife. I think five months of just a bread knife is long enough. Chop or be chopped! I finished the night off with one BIG glass of white wine to drink with my girls from "Cougar Town" and the chopping of Jaleel White from "Dancing With the Stars." It's amazing how much happier I can be when I focus on what I do have rather than what I don't.

Love,

Stephanie Marie

PS. Yoga Steve recently announced that he didn't get the park permit from the city, so I really hope that doesn't mean he'll have to stop doing these ocean-side yoga classes. That would be a serious loss to San Diegans.

A Quiet Power: An Introvert's Introspection

There are always trends going on, we all know this. Trends in what we wear, how we decorate our house, how we talk. There are exercise trends, blogging trends, education trends. Fact: You are now required to be a toned 20-something with a master's degree who runs marathons and blogs about it. If this isn't you, you're not cool. Clearly I'm kidding, but there is so much pressure these days to be something that we're not. The target keeps moving and the rest of us keep trying to keep up with the trends. Well, you know what? If we just stopped for two minutes and realized that we don't need to be any of these things, that we can be happy in our own skin, life might be a little bit easier.

Oddly enough, the latest trend I started seeing this week--being an introvert--is something that goes against being a trend inherently. So apparently the hot new thing is to be an introvert. A neon-yellow-wearing introvert (didn't you hear: yellow is the new color for spring). It's so hot right now. NEON hot :)


Being an introvert means different things to different people, but my mom put it really well a few years ago to me, and I'll share that with you now: Introverts are people who gain their energy by being alone and extroverts are people who gain their energy by being around other people. I can totally relate to this. Being in large groups of people (no matter how welcoming and friendly they all are) drains the life out of me. Like I need a nap or just some quiet time in the corner, drains the life out of me. At my sister and her husband's engagement party years ago, I found myself bumping around to their friends like a pinball. I had met most of the 30-or-so people there several times before, but I didn't really know them. And after a few hours of chatting, smiling, and shaking hands, I was so tired I had a headache and needed a nap. And, years later, I'm still sorry that I didn't go out with them after the party because it would have been such a great way to get to know them even more on a more intimate, fun way. But all I could think about was how amazing it was going to be to slip on my pjs, crawl into bed, and read a book. All by mysellllllllf.

Anyway, I tell you all of that to say that being an introvert can be difficult at times. Especially in today's market where networking is pretty much the only way you're going to get a job, it becomes a struggle to keep up with the expectations. Especially in today's social scene where going out an partying and collecting friends seems like the only way to meet people. It's just in me to do those things, though, and I'm pretty adamant about staying true to myself. So, learning how to make friends and make job connections is something that I'm constantly thinking about. Where should I go to meet new people? What should I say to make new work acquaintances? What do I do with my hands? How do I slip into a group already in the middle of a conversation without seeming like a creepy, anti-social creeper? Because, like "The Power of Introverts" explains, being an introvert doesn't mean being anti-social. I want friends, too! It's just a matter of how I socialize and with whom I'm socializing. Phew. I'm exhausted now...need some time to myself...with a book...in a candle-lit room. ;)

I thought I'd share some articles with you all in case you're feeling the same way I do about being an introvert because, frankly, I think we all tend to gather together. Introverts, unite! Separately! :)

Have any networking or socializing tips to share with your fellow introverts?

The Power of Introverts: A Manifesto for Quiet Brilliance
An Introvert's Guide to Networking

Love,
Stephanie Marie

Photo courtesy of pinterest.