Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Snowballers Unite!

I am the queen of snowballing. I'm a snowballer. If I had a theme song it would be "snowballer, shot caller, bawler." Or something like that. If snowballing in urban dictionary is something dirty, then that's not what I mean. What I mean is: when I get stressed about something, I let everything else add to my stress until I'm so overwhelmed I want to cry.

Today is a great example of the effectiveness of my snowballing. I signed my work up to adopt a military family for the holidays. Nice, right? Unfortunately, it's usually doing these nice things for other people that causes me stress. Probably because they're added to the stress of my normal life so it's like EXTRA stress. Whoo hoo! So, today I had to get a VISA gift card and all of the wrapped gifts to the post office to get to the family's house before Christmas. That's not a big deal, you say? I totally agree! But, you see, I'm a master snowballer, and my super power is to blow things out of proportion until I crack!

Here is today's event equation:
1. Today I must mail the gifts and VISA gift card to the family to reach them by Christmas.
2. Go to the grocery store to buy said gift card and walk out realizing that I used all the money from my coworkers on the card and didn't save any for shipping.
3. Stop by Panera to grab a coffee and bagel to make me feel better, but then have to wait while some annoying guy is stirring stirring stirring his coffee right in front of the creamer and then the same guy doesn't say thank you when I hold the door open for him. (PS. I let a "whatever, dude" slip out of my mouth accidentally.)
4. No one would let me over to get into the correct lane while driving to the post office, so I had to pull a u-turn. Why are people always in such a hurry?
5. I spilled my coffee while u-turning and then had to wait for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES before the office opened. UGH. Can you say that with me? UGH! FIVE WHOLE MINUTES!
6. The only box that would fit all of the presents was huge and required lots of taping (which of course I didn't know how to dispense and looked like an idiot in front of the entire line that had formed behind me). Wrapping wrapping wrapping. Tape twisting and sticking to my hand, my boot, the counter...anything BUT the box. And of course I'm now sweaty and smelly.

So there you have it. It is so frustrating that I can't figure out how to avoid the snowballing. I realize that nothing in that fore-mentioned list is anything noteworthy. I get that. So who cares that I had to make a u-turn to get into the post office? At least I found it, right? So who cares that I had to wait five minutes? At least I was in the front of the line, right? So who cares that I had to pay for the shipping by myself? At least I'm helping out a family in need, right? Yes, of course "right" is the right answer to all of those. But while I'm on the battlefield, trying to navigate the jungle of gift cards and the crossfire of traffic, I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT! I can't take it, I tell you! I want to cry! and run home! and go back to sleep in my pjs! Because I am the snowballer! Hear me whine ROAR!

On the drive back to the office, I was thinking about why it is that offering to buy my coworker her birthday cake, or offering to adopt a family for the holiday causes me so much stress. And, honestly, I think that if I just didn't wait until the last minute (i.e., buy the cake at 7am the morning of or driving to the post office at 8am the last morning possible), I could avoid all this snowballing. Must. remember. that. next. time! If only my super power was having a memory like a trap!

Do you have an awesome super power like me? Let's join together and make a team!

Stephanie Marie


  1. Well, I definitely hear you on this one. I do this CONSTANTLY. In fact, in the last week, I've been angry, sad, mad, and crazy stressed just about every day. Add cried and fought with my sister to that equation and we've got ourselves a happy little Christmas.

    But it's actually pretty funny; while writing this, I thought of that time we got on the bus going the wrong way and rode it all the way to the end. I remember clearly, you said to me, "It's good to know you're not one of those people who freaks out." Haha! If only you could see me now...

  2. I just hate that it ruins the fun/good things that I'm doing. I'm incapable of stopping and thinking "chill out. you're helping someone." UGH. And I will never forget that bus ride. It was an adventure, for sure! Maybe we were so calm about it because we didn't have a deadline to be's that deadline thing that stresses me out.

  3. Yeah, I hate that I always get stressed especially at the holidays. It's supposed to be this happy family time when you do awesome things for people, and I always just end up insane.

    And yes. We definitely win the "Worst Bus Ride Ever" award.