Monday, April 16, 2012

The Spontaneous Plan

I am not a spontaneous person. Well, let me revise that. I'm spontaneous only when I plan for it. When I'm not expecting to go with the flow, then it's really difficult for me to be easy-going. I think it's mostly a problem with managing my expectations, which has been an issue of mine for years. Tell me that the movie was amazing, and I'll be disappointed when I get there. Tell me a book is boring, and I'll love it. Tell me we're going to go biking to the bay, and you'd better know the right path! (That last one really did happen, which is when I realized that spontaneity for me is something I plan.) Is it a female thing? An East Coast thing? A family thing? I'm not sure, but I'd really like to stop planning so much and start going by the seat of my pants. Hold on folks, this ride is about to get crazy!

Imagine what I would have missed out on and what my parents would have missed out on this past weekend if we hadn't all been willing to go with the flow. They would have missed out on front-row seats at an Allison Krauss concert in Norfolk and lunching in colonial Williamsburg. I would have missed out on a super fun night with my high school girl friends on Friday and a picnic and walk around Quiet Waters Park on Saturday. I would have missed out on laughing so hard I cried. Eating the first crabs of the season. And having some quality time with our family dog.
Half dozen jumbo blue crabs.
We all would have missed out on a lot, and so like everything else in my life, I think I need to plan to learn how to be more spontaneous :) I really think that I miss out on great adventures and memories by having every minute of every day planned, having to turn down new plans or missing the chance to meet new people. The hardest part of this for me right now is balancing the planning with my feelings. Sometimes, when I'm not doing anything or don't have plans, I feel lonely and wish I had something scheduled. After all, part of the reason why I plan so much is to avoid feeling like I'm stuck in my cave of an apartment by myself. Yes, I do love those times when I make a pot of tea, sit back, and read my book all by myself. But it's those times that I don't choose to be by myself that are the hardest. That's when I feel lonely. OK, I need to get over that too. I don't need to be moving all the time to be happy. I don't need to have a purpose to just be. I love this quote from the MOVIE (movie, folks, the book can bite it for all I care) "Eat. Pray. Love.":

"Americans. You work too hard, you get burned out. You come home and spend the whole weekend in your pajamas in front of the T.V. But you don't know pleasure. You have to be told you've earned it. You see a commercial that says: 'It's Miller Time!' And you say, That's right, now I'm going to buy a six pack. And then drink the whole thing and wake up the next morning and you feel terrible. But an Italian doesn't need to be told. He walks by a sign that says: You deserve a break today. And he says, Yes, I know. That's why I'm planning on taking a break at noon to go over to your house and sleep...with your wife! We call it "dolce far niente," the sweetness of doing nothing."

Taking Rocky on a walk through the neighb.
I'm constantly trying to work on myself and this is something that I think I'd like to put on the top of my list. Anyway, this weekend was gloriously intense (and freakin' hot for April). Some of it was planned. Most of it was not. I picnicked at a park, I partied with the girls, I wined with a bluegrass band. It was one of those marathon weekends that was amazing from start to finish, and I can't wait until the next one starts when my sister comes to town!

Does anyone else have a problem being spontaneous? Any advice?

Stephanie Marie


  1. Wait, what movie? Did I miss it??

    I agree. With everything. So glad you had such a fun weekend!

  2. Eat. Pray. Love. I think I got so caught up on the movie vs. the book that I forgot to put the actual title in there ;)